Yep. That is true. Abstract, but true. At least to my life anyways. So it's been about 3 months since my last post. Here is where I go on and on about all the busy-ness in my life and reasons for not blogging because of more important things as well as the many things I wished I had blogged about. Well, I don't really feel like doing that. Except, I'd like to make note of some pretty important details because this is a blog read by people close to me and it's a good way to review and update.
I guess I only wrote a few posts since spring term was out 2011. Yikes. I wrote a few throughout the fall and winter, and since 2012, zilch.
Let me recap: Summer 2011 I moved back to Menno and met a pretty great group of people. I spent the first half of the summer working at a coffee shop and a tennis club, saving up for a cross-Canada roadtrip with my sisters, and missions trip to Cambodia. I also got to go home to PG to visit! Fall came, with no job and full tilt on school. I'm still working on my bachelor of arts degree in Health Science with a minor in chemistry.
My first nephew, Eli Nathaniel Lochhead was born in September! In November, my mom's side of the family celebrated my Oma and Opa's 60th wedding anniversary with a reunion in Oliver (Okanagan) in a beautiful rented house (mansion in my opinion).
I got a job through my friend Lara in the fall working for Home Instead Senior Care, a non-government company that provides care for seniors in their homes. I worked throughout the fall and got about 3 weeks off for Christmas! I spent time in Vernon for Christmas break, with my Aunt Barb and Uncle Ken, and then bussed home to Prince George. The whole gang was there this year! (including Eli's first Christmas) And, my mom and Bill got engaged!
January brought a full courseload and intense timetable for me at school. Emma went back to Ontario after the Christmas break. I'm still working at Home Instead, and actually just got a new client, starting yesterday! A lovely 90 year old lady with short term memory loss, 1 hearing aid missing, and cupboards full of stale crackers :) Mel and Jonny moved into their new house, which I'll be moving into at the end of April! Rachel moved to London a couple weeks ago, and visited the Gambia for 10 days before she goes there permanently in the fall. I've been spending time studying, cooking, running (working back up to 10km for the Sun Run again this year), spending time with family and friends, snowboarding as much as possible, and other things that my daily life and sporatic urges bring!
And, that brings us to today. Sunday afternoon. My church starts at 9am, crazy! Well, don't feel too sorry for me. I have the option of going to the 10:30 service, or even 12:30, but I like the 9am because it gets me up first thing, and leaves me plenty of time for afternoon homework and activities. Also, I've been like this ever since I was little- but I hate sleeping in, not because I can't sleep, believe me, I can easily sleep till 10 or 11...but I hate it because I feel like the whole world is going on around me(housemates getting up, hustling and bustling, getting things DONE!) and I feel lazy for sleeping in and like I'm going to miss out on LIFE if I stay in bed, even an extra half hour longer. Do you ever feel like that? By the way, this missing-out complex applies to most other areas of my life too. Bummer.
All that to say, I set my alarm for 7, having gone to bed at 11pm, which was really 12am because of spring time change! anyways, I woke up, snoozed the alarm, and slept it. Now I feel like even more of a lazy, lethargic bum because I slept in AND missed church. And there was no way I would go to the later service because then I would have wasted morning time, AND by the time church ended, would have little time to study and run before work at 4pm. I'm starting to sound terrible, even to myself!
Anyways, I turned on worship music, and had a little devo time by myself. A lot of times my devo reading (oswald chambers, currently) is on the bus. My commutes are long. 45 minutes to school. 45 minutes to my new client downtown. It provides opportune time to read the bible. I pray in my head, or jot a note down, or just thank God for the minutes of slowness. The bus is usually quiet despite what you might think. 50 or so strangers on a crowded bus makes for lots of silence and a couple coughs. Except for the odd drunkard but anywho..
I also want to use this post to address the fact that a million trillion things go through my mind every day. For example, as I was eating my lunch today, thinking really in depth about the fact that I think so much about various topics all the time, I realized, wow I really DO think way too much and is that healthy? In the past I've used this blog to jot things down that I'd been thinking about, or to post some thoughts about a recent devotional or God-topic I'd been passionate about. I've decided to de-clutter my mind. As in, I've been realizing that I think way too much about so many things, and go so in-depth that it actually is hurting my spirit. That sounds really fluffy, and I'm sure I could think of better wording, but I actually don't believe it is healthy to over-analyze to many things to the point where I am losing focus of #1-my relationship with God and knowing HIM better, and #2-the main priorities in my life. (ie:basic life necessities, school, work, family, friends, personal activities) This is pretty monumental to me as it is very easy for my to lose focus, especially when doing homework. (example: studying molecular geometry today I took a min to browse a food blog that led me to 10+ other blogs which inspired me and led to me making my hummus tuna poppysead lettuce wrap. 20 minutes later. ridiculous.) Also, I realize now why people who went into the woods and lived by themselves for years and years went "crazy". Being by yourself for so long, being self-sufficient, focusing on your everyday needs/wants primarily, and working so hard on something tends to make you an inward thinker. Not really selfish and self-centered, but really focused on what is going on around YOU. You over think and dream and ponder so much, with nobody to distract you or counter your thoughts. Don't worry, I'm not crazy (yet). I've just realized that in the last 2 years since moving out on my own and living in Vancouver, I've become independent, self-sufficient, and inward-thinker, and over-analyzing person. None of this DEFINES me, or is really who I am, but just some traits that I've been noticing more and more. And, I don't really like all that. Independence is good, but to a degree. Same with self-sufficiency. Inward thinking is also good at times, but you can get into a rut and soon lose focus on your community which Jesus calls us to live and share with. and lastly, over-analyzing, in my opinion is never good because I think it leads to worry and doubt, which is not of Christ. Alot of this I shared with my friend Nicole last night. I told her I felt like I had become (in a way) an old nasty bitter single hag that got annoyed at everyone and never had any fun. To my relief, she felt the same way! haha. I mean, not good that she felt that way, but good to know I'm not alone in my self-pity boat! The funny thing is, to me, she seems the opposite! Got-it-all-together, fun loving, social, happy person. And she said the same about me! Phew, not all is totally lost. I'm glad I'm reflecting and realizing these things now, so I can make steps to change it rather than go down a really dark road to self-inflicting unhappiness.
I didn't intend to blog this much, but it just flowed! I want to take more time to clearly outline and define so things that I want my blog to continue to be, as well as mention a new idea for a blog! I also really want to share some pictures I've been taking in the last few months. That will have to wait though! I have to get out on my Sunday run (only 5km today, to keep it short and fast) and then quickly shower and head to my client downtown. Have a really, really, really lovely, and blessed Sunday. Thank you for reading this.
